Budget Crunch Leaves Student Groups at War! 

Budget Crunch Leaves Student Groups at War! 

Illustration Credit: Arba Bardhi

In appreciation of USMC for putting your money where you want it 

Gyan Sinha, Contributor 

The Dean of Students’ Office has announced it will finally renovate the Brennan Hall south entrance after years of complaints. However, given the steep cost of renovation, the Dean has announced that one student group will have its budget slashed. The Dean is willing to do this given the immense support amongst students for the repair project. The group being cut is to be decided by a student referendum. 

  The Commuter Dons, not ones to shy away from conflict, decided to hold a Commuter Appreciation Barbeque in the Athletic Field. Unfortunately, the TTC was out of service due to unscheduled maintenance and shuttle busses were not running, so the event was unsuccessful. 

SMCSU also decided to throw its hat in the ring, announcing a spring carnival to be held in the Quad, featuring a giant red bouncy castle and cotton candy stand. The colour of the bouncy castle was decided after a contentious council meeting, with the not-so-secret Election Appeals Board ruling in favour of red after a tie between red and blue. Speaking after the meeting, incoming SMCSU VP of Student Life Neema Kaf said “I don’t get paid for this.” 

In a bid to compete, the St. Mike’s Residence Council (SMRC) also decided to hold a carnival, but with its shoestring budget, the council was only able to purchase a kiddie trampoline and a half-empty bag of gummy bears. Unfortunately for both councils, their event was rained out, and their hopes melted away like a $30,000 ice rink on a hot winter’s day.  

The Residence Dons announced a food giveaway for all USMC students. However, it was later revealed the food would come from the Canada Room, and the event was completely empty (Author’s note: the food is better now).  

As part of its engagement efforts, The Mike decided to do full-page profiles on each student group, detailing what they contribute and why they deserve funding. It sought to provide only the most unbiased coverage, despite the fact that the editors were well aware of the potential that the newspaper’s budget could be slashed if the voters so deemed. But the paper was disappointed to find its new copies being used as table coverings for SMCSU’s perennial edition of Boba Ross. With the event having been repeated numerous times in the past three years, students were able to repaint The Grandeur of Summer from memory without the Bob Ross video. 

Voting will be open from April 15–17, and the results will be announced on April 18. 

In unrelated news, the Dean’s Office has announced a new Picasso Garden to be built in the place of Scollard Park, featuring an all-concrete courtyard and panels depicting Picasso’s more abstract work. The project is estimated to cost $20,000.