Monsters of St. Mike’s: Johnnay Hsu

Monsters of St. Mike’s: Johnnay Hsu

Photo Credit: Johnnay Hsu

Do you really know who’s hiding behind St. Mike’s walls? 

Stefanie Menezes, Lifestyle Editor

Welcome, reader, to Halloween at The Mike

My name is Stefanie Menezes, editor of the Death-style section here at The Mike. I have been tasked with the perilous exploration of St. Michael’s College in this infamous season: my mission is to document the terrifying creatures that burrow behind the paintings in Carr Hall and crawl beneath the carpeted floors of Kelly Library. Most days, these entities will appear in their human forms: harmless students, rushing from class to class. You may sit beside them during lecture or hold the one working door for them on your way into Brennan Hall. They may even flash you an innocuous smile or ask you about the homework. This Halloween season, I would strongly warn against lending them the homework, lest you meet a very early deadline. And if you see them grin in your direction… run. 

Now then, we must start our journey. As I exit the office of The Mike, the Coop is in complete darkness. There is no light peering in from any of the windows, as if they were all painted pitch black. The quiet is unsettling, and I hear not a single student’s voice, nor the clattering of billiard balls in the corner; yet part of me is relieved that they will not have to witness the horrors that are undoubtedly coming. Then, it begins. A heavy breath, and then the thud of footsteps booming towards me at a quickening pace. Though my hands are trembling, I rifle through my bag until I feel my hands wrap around the newspaper’s secret monster-banishing camera. I bring it up to my eye and, in the light of its life-saving flash, the figure is illuminated. 

The first things I see are the creature’s long white horns, stuck atop its massive red body: an Oni. Its arms reach nearly to the ceiling of the student lounge, hands clutching a spiked club that it angles perfectly above my head. But when the flash ends, the photo on the screen is of a young, human man. I recognize him at once; remember, these monsters may be your very own friends. I quickly inform him of my mission, and he agrees to an interview.  

Q. What is your name, year, and major? 

A. Johnnay Hsu. Final year of Environmental Studies. 

Q. What is the scariest thing you have learned in one of your classes? 

A. Environmental racism is a thing, and it’s horrible. 

Q. What is your favourite candy you received while trick-or-treating as a child? 

A. One time, I got butterfingers and nearly died because they had peanuts in them. So… probably nerds. 

Q. What character or role would you play in a horror movie? 

A. The one that shouldn’t die but does because their friend is stupid. 

Q. What creature would you not want to run into in a dark forest? 

A. A wendigo. 

Q. Would you spend the night in a haunted house? 

A. Do I get paid? Because probably not. 

Q. What is the coolest or strangest Halloween costume you have ever seen? 

A. Two people connected as Slinky Dog from Toy Story. 

With Johnnay’s help, I find the light switch. He informs me of a scream he heard while passing by Carr Hall earlier, and I set off to my next terrifying encounter.